Back in 1985 I saw Return of the Living Dead (1985) at our local, long-ago demolished cinema, upstairs on the small second screen. It's a great little film, which I recommend to anyone who likes their horror movies with a side of self-referential humour. One of the stars was the then 60-something actor James Karen, who plays Frank, the foreman at a medical supplies warehouse. During an effort to impress the new guy, Frank accidentally awakens a zombie plague, and well, that's another movie. The point is that James Karen, a guy who has been working hard in movies and TV since the 1950s, had his first leading role in this wonderfully over-blown, preposterous and lovable sci-fi cheapie.
Karen plays Dr Adam Steele (a decent heroic name), who is working on a mission to send a man to Mars. Because NASA have lost a number of recent missions, (more on that later) they don't want to send a human astronaut. Instead Dr Steele has perfected an android who will play the part of an astronaut. At first appearance he seems totally human, and even gives a press conference. Unfortunately his face gets stuck with a toothy grin, and he has to be hustled away. Despite this major glitch at a simple press event, they decide to send him into orbit in charge of a multi-million dollar spaceship anyway. All fine so far, right?
Dr Nadir & his Princess
The previous missions had been shot down by aliens, who have come to earth to get breeding stock for their dying world. These are without doubt some of the most camp aliens of all time. The leaders of the mission are Princess Marcuzan (played by Marilyn Hanold, who will be 80 this year but hasn't made a TV or movie appearance since 1970) a statuesque pin-up brunette, who is dressed like a cross between a 1960s Batman villain and a burlesque dancer; and the amazingly over-the-top Dr. Nadir (Lou Cutell, probably best known as Amazing Larry from Pee-wee's Big Advenure (1985)). The good Dr. Nadir has the worst bald wig and biggest Spock ears you've ever seen. I'm convinced that this guy was a big inspiration for Dr. Evil from the Austin Powers movies. Both Dr and Princess portray their evil natures through a fruity mixture of smirks, sly glances, moustache-twirling dialogue, and other pantomime muggery. It's frankly hilarious to watch. This is Plan 9 country, although it seems that initially this movie was intended as a comedy, whereas Ed Wood wanted to be taken a bit more seriously.
"And now... Maximum Energy!"
On the space ship, alongside the aforementioned hams and a bunch of alien astronauts with the same bald head/ears combo as Dr. Nadir, there is a creature called Mull who is so bestial and uncontrolled that he has to be caged. This is your titular 'Space Monster'. Trivia: The alien astronaut with the most dialogue, and Mull, are both played by Bruce Glover, Crispin Glover's dad.
Space Monster...
...meet Frankenstein
The aliens shoot down the Mars mission with Frank(enstein, because he's a man made of parts, natch) aboard, but Frank isn't killed. He loses his memory banks and gets half his face melted off. Wandering about the countryside he unwittingly kills a few people, and is hunted by the aliens who want to silence him so their lady-stealing plans aren't revealed. It's all very thrilling.
There's way too much great stuff in this movie to talk about, as almost every bit of it is fun and warms your heart with its amateur audacity. There are a couple more things I love about it though. First off, the movie is about 30% stock footage. I've never seen so much in a film, and it's only 76 minutes long. There's footage of satellite dishes, space launches, space capsules parachuting into the sea, helicopters, tanks, troop movements, jet fighters, air transports, all kinds of stuff that would have been way too expensive for the two-bit company that made this.
The second thing is all the lovely travelogue footage. Near the beginning of the film we see the area around Cape Kennedy, shot from a moving car. It's fascinating to see all the space-themed diners and motels that have opened up around the NASA Space Centre, and it gives you a real idea of mid-60s Florida. Later on in the film, after the action has moved to Puerto Rico, where the Mars mission has crash-landed, we have a sequence in which Adam Steele and his female assistant (and maybe GF) ride along on a little motor scooter, heading to the scene of the crash. Although this should be a tense ride to an uncertain destination, which in some films might not even have been shown, in this movie the ride is a happy trip through the quaint old city of San Juan, with a sappy salsa ballad played over it. All very romantic, totally out of place, and wonderfully evocative, all at the same time.
San Juan by scooter
If you enjoyed Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959), if you love guys in bad monster suits, and if you don't mind watching some kitschy shots of people on a scooter, this is for you. I should warn those of you expecting some kind of ding-dong Godzilla vs Whoever monster battles, that the meeting between the two title characters lasts less than two minutes, and is something of an anti-climax, but there is so much more to this movie. I didn't even mention the hip-swinging teens, menaced at a pool party, or the weird alien process that weeds out the unwanted 'breeders'. Enjoy.
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